Random Headcanon: The Klingon Empire’s “honourable warrior” culture isn’t such a weird, dysfunctional caricature just because of bad writing – it’s actually like that from an in-character perspective, too.
Most of the Klingons who appear on-screen are nobility of some description, and what we’re looking as is a warrior caste that’s made an imperfect transition to being a class of bureaucrats and administrators at some point between the Original Series and The Next Generation – sort of like what happened with the samurai in post-Shogunate Japan.
They’ve got a lot of cultural anxiety tied up in that role shift, and they’ve overcompensated by constructing this nostalgic mythos of a Golden Age of Glorious Battle that never actually existed. The vaunted warrior’s code is a recent invention – largely post-dating that transition, in fact – and those who take it most seriously typically hail from clans whose “warriors” haven’t seen real combat in generations.
Basically, imagine a society ruled by self-hating historical cosplay nerds who have the authority to have you killed if you point out how ridiculous they are.
DS9 pretty solidly backs this up.
‘now take my husband… please! haha no seriously, folks, i think he died and the area’s getting necrotic. anyone in the house a doctor? anyone?’
I just realized that finding makeup would be a pain in the ass in the star wars universe
“fuck, I found this foundation in my shade of pink, but it’s for a different skin type, WAY too oily for me”
“why does everyone insist that mascara is the best thing since sliced bread? MY SPECIES DOESN’T HAVE EYELASHES”
“why is makeup humanocentric, not everyone is a different shade of beige dammit”
*angry feminist twi’lek ranting about how they don’t need eyebrows to look beautiful*
*angry togruta yelling as they try to keep their foundation off of their skin markings*
“This foundation is gray but it’s warm gray, fuck”
Coruscant makeup shops would either have to specialize or be huge
if you’re on a planet where your species is the minority, good luck finding items that need to work with your skin tone/type/your body hair or lack of
I’m just. Imagining water-based species leaving their home planet and going “What the hell is Make Up?”
Water-based species shopping abroad: “This is not water-proof. I tried.”
Mixed species people living “abroad” and finally visiting their species home planet as an adult just to discover they had NO IDEA what their peoples beauty standards are and they’ve been doing their makeup to human standards this whole time. “Wait, you mean I’m not supposed to highlight the markings on my arms and chest? That’s hella vulgar?? I’ve been essentially walking around naked with arrows pointed to my cooch this whole time???”
So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather?
What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving.
To paraphrase one of my favorite bits of a ‘humans are awesome’ fiction megapost: “you don’t know you’re from a Death World until you leave it.” For a ton of reasons, I really like the idea of Earth being Space Australia.
Earth being Space Australia
Words cannot express how much I love these posts
I’m gonna define the charms guys
Heart- classic love, nuff said
Moon- Based particularly on coyness and mystery, one of Clover’s best quadrants
Star- One-upmanship, closer to black than others in that it features rivalry of sorts, but can be much more innocent
Clover- Luck, courting often done through the playing of luck based games, gambling games being more intense forms of courtship while coin flipping could be nice for early stages
Diamond- similar to diamonds for trolls
Horseshoe- Another more competitive quadrant, based in games of skill. unlike clover, they are actually showing off and not basing on just luck. one of the more confrontational charms
Balloon- similar to diamonds for trolls, but with less emotional touchy feely stuff, and more amusement. they keep each other happy just by being distracting and fun for each other
Rainbow- more commonly homosexual than others, features imagination games and artistic cooperation
Pot of Gold- thievery based competition, they have nests of stuff they like and they try to steal from the nest of the leprechaun they are courting. Spades and his gang got the idea to have their battledrobes and whatnot based on the nests they saw these guys having. they do no understand how depraved this makes them seem to leprechauns, to have a stash and never try to steal anything
I thought I had posted my helmsman/hyperspace headcanon which I have used in The Exigencies of the Service and Engine Song, but I can’t find it so maybe I didn’t. Anyway, here it is, with the caveat that it’s kinda cribbed from Cherryh’s Alliance-Union-Compact ‘verse.
- Helmsmen are not actually capable of propelling a starship faster than the speed of light using only their minds. That would be silly.
- Hyperdrive works like this: when you are sufficiently out of a gravity well, you activate your hyperdrive vanes (external antenna things, honestly kind of vulnerable which is why they’re retractable) and go into a subuniverse where distances are shorter so you can effectively cross a certain distance faster than light could.
- Within this subuniverse, due to the wonky geometries, sensors don’t work effectively so you can’t do navigation except via dead reckoning. This means that nearly every species known simply points their ship at a known star position and hits “go” and unless your navigator is particularly incompetent you’ll hit that star’s gravity well.
- You re-emerge into normal space as soon as you hit a star’s gravity well (well outside the star’s actual atmosphere, thankfully). There are also non-star masses in deep space where smugglers like to use for meetings. Black holes are also viable targets, but are rather dangerous neighborhoods to hang out in.
- You re-emerge into space going very fast (though not above 0.1c, and therefore not meaningfully relativistic). A very convenient method of braking is simply to activate your hyperspace vanes again; you’ll go into hyperspace, get thrown out immediately, and bleed off velocity as you do. Repeat as necessary until your crew is vomiting all over your control panels or you have decelerated to a safe speed.
- Since humans and other non-troll species can’t change speed or course in hyperspace, lest they get lost, it’s very easy to tell where they’ll come out based on their vector when they went in.
- The thing helmsmen do for trolls is they can use their psionics and the brain-ship interface to sense their surroundings and manipulate the vane settings. This lets them change course safely, as well as get better performance out of their hyperdrive.
- Since the entire ship is at the mercy of the helmsman during flight, it is wise to ensure you can trust the troll you wire into your starship. Traditionally, HIC’s navy accomplished this via brainwashing and torture, but other methods are possible.
- Even troll sensory psionics are limited by lightspeed, so in normal space, radar and lidar are supplemented with “longscan”, which is basically systematized hunches about what ships are doing. Helmsmen typically also make excellent longscan enhancers.
Anyway, that’s what I came up with, because I like kitbashing interesting starship operation procedures. I hope this is useful to something.
I love Temeraire but man, I really want to see how that world continues to develop with dragons. What happens when people start building airplanes? Do they even bother to build planes when they can just hop on a dragon? How do dragons influence the development of the American military-industrial complex? What do dragons think of the Internet? Is Temeraire still alive and posting selfies in his best jewelry please I need to know
Okay but am I the only one who has imagined dragons *in planes*. Dragons want to go over the sea too, and ships are awful and take months to get anywhere. Planes with a section in the back for one or two little courier-weights. Planes with reinforced sections for baby dragons. Giant, giant carrier-planes for larger dragons.
Dragons hate planes. It is a Fact. They whine so, so much about flying without wings.
(Dragons going through Customs, guys.)
Whoa, you’re right–the most sensible solution for all concerned would be to have shipping switch over to airmailing small dragons, who could finish many of the final hops sending people/goods to last-stop distribution centers.
what about humans in hangliders and squirrel suits? a talented hanglider guy can coast around for ages. then a small dragon could tow them higher, or a middleweight dragon could simply be landed on. the humans would have to get the hang of dealing with the turbulence from enormous flapping wings, but if they wiped out the dragon could just grab them.
the tactical advantages in dragon combat are obvious: instead of forcing the enormous and expensive dragons into direct combat, their boarding teams would glide at each other from a distance. if they miss, they just spiral down rather than falling to their death, unless encountered by an enemy glider with a big ripping hook or swatted by the enemy dragon. the human combatants can then continue the fight on the ground, or sit tight and radio for extraction.
i’d equip a human boarder with a pistol, sticky explosives, a compass, a map of the area, and a big sickle-bladed grappling hook on a chain, for either grabbing on to a dragon’s hide or slicing through an enemy’s glider fabric. the trick would be to make something that caught in hide but went right through a glider, since you’d want to stick to the dragon, but not a plummeting enemy. i suppose it could be detachable at the chain…. then again, if you have a pistol, you might just want to shoot your gliding enemies directly.
the explosives could be as simple as tape and a stick of dynamite, if it’s early 19-20 stuff. glider over, hook on wherever you can, tape the dynamite down while shooting whoever you can, and dive away before it blows. later plastic explosives could be made even stickier and harder to peel off, with remote detonators, so you could just brush by, throw it down, fly off, and then blow it.
THESE WOULD PROBABLY BE THIS AU’S FIRST “FLYING ACES,” LIKE HOW WE REALLY ROMANTICIZED THE FIRST FIGHTER PILOTS FOR A WHILE THERE?
THERE’D BE THIS PERIOD OF TIME WHERE EVERYBODY DOING THIS WOULD LIKELY BE PRETTY BAD AT IT, SO THE PEOPLE GOOD AT IT COULD JUST FUCK SHIT UP *EXTREMELY* AND GET RLY FAMOUS