I’m gonna define the charms guys
Heart- classic love, nuff said
Moon- Based particularly on coyness and mystery, one of Clover’s best quadrants
Star- One-upmanship, closer to black than others in that it features rivalry of sorts, but can be much more innocent
Clover- Luck, courting often done through the playing of luck based games, gambling games being more intense forms of courtship while coin flipping could be nice for early stages
Diamond- similar to diamonds for trolls
Horseshoe- Another more competitive quadrant, based in games of skill. unlike clover, they are actually showing off and not basing on just luck. one of the more confrontational charms
Balloon- similar to diamonds for trolls, but with less emotional touchy feely stuff, and more amusement. they keep each other happy just by being distracting and fun for each other
Rainbow- more commonly homosexual than others, features imagination games and artistic cooperation
Pot of Gold- thievery based competition, they have nests of stuff they like and they try to steal from the nest of the leprechaun they are courting. Spades and his gang got the idea to have their battledrobes and whatnot based on the nests they saw these guys having. they do no understand how depraved this makes them seem to leprechauns, to have a stash and never try to steal anything
CONSIDER: An au where Spock’s family is sent into the past, Sarek, Sybok, Amanda AND Spock through some freak accident, but cannot fix the ship (which was damage after landing on Earth) that sent them there.
They are stuck with “twigs and rocks” as far as technology goes for shaping the tools of the 21st century, and so fixing their ship is going to be a trying but not impossible endeavor. Keeping the future in tact and getting back to it is the ultimate goal, as well as making themselves as faded into the backgrounds of human society as possible: which, even for Amanda, is proving to be a most difficult task for the alien family (Three of which cannot tell lies and may undergo pon farr regardless of whether or not it is timely.)
It only gets worse when their new neighbors get nosy and try to force their way into the homestead they have claimed (probably through squatting) through the guise of pleasant neighborly welcomes, bearing apple pies and dessert foods. Social cues indicate that both Spock and Sybok resemble an age in which either should be in some type of schooling system should the familyswish to avoid drawing the attention of the law, and to say the least it’s a mind numbing ordeal to have to sit through lectures that will eventually be proven incorrect, and a headache enducing one not to correct the lectures themselves.
Bonus points if the Kirks are their neighbors or something, and Jim takes an interest in the family and their ever prominent attachment to hats, and beanies. I mean, “Seriously, Bones, do you think they all suffer premature balding? No, I think I saw Spock with a headband once… but his hair looked way too, I don’t know, silky to be real? Maybe it was a wig…do you think?” – “Why don’t you just ask him and stop blubbering to me about the skinny bastard? Did you know his brother’s in most of my courses? Had the damned audacity to assume we’d be buddy buddy because…”
Extra bonus if both/either Sarek or Amanda have to maintain a silly 21st century job to establish an income.
EXTRA EXTRA BONUS POINTS IF JIM FINDS OUT SPOCK’S AN ALIEN AT SOME POINT AND PROMISES NOT TO TELL ANYONE BECAUSE WHAT IF SOMEONE TRIES TO DISSECT HIM?: SPOCK’S TOO CUTE WITH HIS POINTY GREEN TINTED EARS AND THE WAY HE TILTS HIS HEAD JUST SO WHEN HE’S CONFUSED, AND OH MY GOD, SPOCK IS ALWAYS SO ADORABLY CONFUSED, AND EVEN THE MORE “COLORFUL” LANGUAGE THAT JIM TRIES TO TEACH HIM EARLIER TO HELP BLEND HIM TO THE CROWD, WHEN PRACTICED, SEEMS SO FOREIGN ON HIS TONGUE. AND SPOCK HAS A HABIT OF PRETENDING NOT TO SHIVER WHEN JIM TAKES HIS HAND IN HIS OWN, AND HE BLUSHES SUCH A PRETTY OFF-WHITE GREEN TONE WHICH NO ONE WOULD OTHERWISE NOTICE IF THEY WEREN’T STARING AT SPOCK AS CURIOUSLY AS JIM DOES, AND HOW COULD JIM EVER TELL ANYONE THAT SPOCK’S THIN FRAME IS SO POWERFUL HE CAN LIFT CARS WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT BECAUSE HE’S NOT HUMAN WITHOUT COMING OFF AS CRAZY ANYWAY? AND ALSO, SPOCK DOESN’T SWEAT AT ALL WHICH IS APPARENTLY AN ALIEN THING?
This post was supposed to be a joke based off of Phil of the Future but I’m really into this au now.
+jim is concerned about spock because sometimes he looks so awkward. lke,
he doesn’t know how to eat bananas…or other earth fruits..
kirk: my cute alien neighbors could be kidnapped! dissected! drugged!
why there is no more of these AU?!?!? T0T
this AU is so goodd @t334
Obviously Amanda would get a job as a teacher at the school Spock goes, to make sure he’s fine. Sarek would probably be an electricist or a computer technician, because working for NASA would be too dangerous, right?
Amanda cursing in different alien languages when she gets frustrated because kids can’t hear that kind of words.
Sarek making friends at work (against all odds) and they inviting the couple to dinner. Sarek horrified with barbeques and seeing people eating with their hands.
Sybok joining the art club.
The family adopting a huge dog because they miss I-Chaya….
INHALES, OKAY SO I INITIALLY REBLOGGED JUST THE TOP ONE WITH AN ADD ON, BUT NOW i NEED TO ADD ON AGAIN
I’M SCREAMING, GOD BLESS YOU BOTH SO MUCH FOR THESE ADDITIONS
It would be very easy for Spock to become exposed to tell you the truth, I mean he blushes green, has pointed ears, and his heart bumps on the side of his chest, so Jim would have to be diligent in his efforts to keep his alien neighbors from being found out.
I wonder if Sarek, Amanda, or Sybok would ever warm up to Jim? I know sure as hell though, Sarek will at least be vulcan pissed that someone found out they’re aliens. But would the beans be spilled that they’re from the future, too? Probably not unless Spock specifically tells him so.
I feel like Jim would half expect Amanda to be an alien too, but then she laughs and giggles along with him, and assures him that no, she’s human too.
I feel like Jim WOULDN’T REALLY BELIEVE HER THOUGH. ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT SHE VULCAN CURSES IN FRONT OF THE CLASS.
Anyway, look at this family??? Would you invite them to dinner? I would…
I would draw more but I’m about to pass out. So, god bless you both again. ❤
LOOK AT SYBOK!!
I WOULD!!!! I would invite them!!!!
but to them it’d be just like ‘can your pet’ game! <link: can your pet reaction video
in future, even on earth killing animal to get food is not common. why kill chicken when you can replicate it? so it’s really shocking when they see ‘real’ chicken barbecue. Sarek and Amanda would probably ate something like this before because of embassy works. but to Sybok and Spock it would be nightmare!
by the way sybok’s hoodie is totally in character because he’s rebel???
if wind blows strong it could reveal his ears! he’ll be careful not to reveal his ears, but Sarek would be upset about hoodie
and since Spock doesn’t have gameboy thingy (because playing game is illogical in vulcan …etc) Jim would give him Nintendo to watch Spock blush & say ‘fascinating’!!!
Someone had to draw the little I-Chaya (he’s a boerboel btw)
timLETS TALK ABOUT THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF STAYING ON THE PLANET.
I mean, should they STAY LONGER THAN THEY INTENDED TO.
I feel like resistance would begin to strike up, specifically from Sybok and also possibly from Amanda.
I mean, I think initially the planet is difficult to adjust to and it certainly has its share of problems BUT it’s also like breathing in a breath of fresh air, no one is holding them to a standard anymore. They don’t have to be logical all the time, in fact, it’s expected of them to just be themselves and everything that comes with it. It’s everything I think Sybok would want, and everything he would push to keep, and it would be so easy for him to say, “I don’t want to go home, I want to stay here.” And since it’s been shown that Sybok has no problem manipulating things to get his way, especially if he thinks he’s in the right, I think he may try to keep them there by playing on Amanda’s strong emotions for her son.
Sybok: So, remind me again why we have to leave this place? I mean, it’s so much better off here.
Sybok: Exhibit A, Spock has friends here! Friends who don’t even care that he has pointed ears, friends who think he’s cool and who want to hang out with him, friends who genuinely like him.
Sybok: You remember how it was for him on Vulcan. Don’t you want him to be happy? Then we should stay here.
I mean, Amanda has a good head on her, and she’s stubborn, so I believe she’ll probably see right through him, but at the same time, what Sybok’s saying isn’t untrue. She’d probably lose sleep thinking about it.
I think after some time on Earth even Sarek can see that their situation is not that bad.
ugh my brain…. gave me some angst idea
at first staying in earth seems fine, but with constant touching and cuddling spock and kirk forms weak link between them. it messes with their heads, eventually they’ll feel weird and sick.
sarek found that it’s some kind of bonding problem but don’t know how to solve this or he thought it’s because of departure with T’pring. they didn’t know at first it’s because of kirk/spock bonding.
worrying about their son’s mental health , they left in haste.
even though they are far away from each other, jim feels longing. since he knows that they are alien beings he worked hard to make first contact.
but after first contact with vulcan, jim found that spock isn’t born yet. furthermore, considering sarek
(or sarek’s father…)
is still a baby, he knows that he can’t live long enough to meet spock.
maybe when jim is dying from incurable disease old spock would come back from future and take jim with him. because council made spock to wait/ taking dying man away from past will not affect time line very much…
i think there should be more happy version of this ending but i couldn’t stop drawing….!!!!!! sorry
How about after Spock leaves and Jim grows up, he knows Vulcan is out there somewhere. He feels the faintest pull out to space but the technology isn’t there yet and he fears that it won’t be before he dies. So instead of waiting or giving up he signs up for a deep space, no return trip possible, cryofreeze mission.
He’s put into such a deep sleep that when Spock returns from the past he can no longer feel their mental connection. He assumes that Jim is long dead and that he will never see him again.
Until one day Jim’s ship shows up somewhere in space and someone wakes him. And Spock feels a sudden presence in his mind that he had not felt in a very long time…
Cue Jim and Spock trying to find each other again across space and after all that time, being pulled together again by just the faintest link.
i knew someone would make it better! 😀 thank you
I always react to these things a day or so late, but I READ THEM ASAP, it just takes a while for me to get out all my thoughts (and art).
ANYWAY, so, of course I’m going to add a little bit more lol.Because I can’t leave well-enough alone BUT I just really love development and I can only imagine how heartbroken Spock would be to have to leave the plent he’s come to know so well. It also intrigues me that when their brother’s/son’s health became endangered the family somehow manages to scrounge up all essentials and get them back to where they wanna go as fast as they can. I mean that’s love, but I wanted to expand upon what would be awaiting our individual parties upon the S’chn T’gai-Grayson departure from the 21st century, and expand upon the supposed “illness” that would be caused by the new bond forming, and why it’s forming in the first place.
If the problem is assumed to be a bonding issue wouldn’t both T’Pring and Spock be called forth by a healer to heal whatever damage attacked Spock’s systems.
T’Pring: I was told that your absence from me has brought great pain upon you.
Spock: That is the conclusion that has been reached, yes.
T’Pring: Strange then that I felt no similar factor. Perhaps due to your hybrid nature, your mind and body rely more heavily on the bonds you form?
Spock: I find no fault in your theory, T’Pring. However, this is only speculation until a healer permits an audience with us. As you are aware, my health has returned to acceptable standards since my return to Vulcan and the proper time period. A healer would be best suited to diagnosing then, whatever caused such an illness in me to occur.
T’pring: Yes, of course beloved.
Ensue the awkward silence that exists between two kids with a strangely dying(?) link. When a Vulcan does not exist in a timeline only because they have not yet been born, and his/her bondmate’s stay extends thereupon, I believe it is possible, especially for mixed physiology to attempt to survive Spock’s body in an attempt to survive would create a new bond (with Jim) finding that the old bond, one that would be essential to one’s survival in due time, has basically shriveled up, there is no recipient on the other end of the line, which means that a new mate must be acquired if Spock wants to survive.
Now all of that doesn’t mean it has to happen quickly at all, in fact, I believe Spock could have existed in the world without a bondmate for several more years without ever being endangered of his body’s instincts for survival to taking over. However, I imagine Spock to be around age 16 in this au, and Jim rounding out to be around 13-14, and I choose these ages for their childhood for a reason.
That’s right. Good old fashioned humanoid puberty. We all know it starts budding up around age 12, and around 14 our bodies start catching up, and we’re sometimes totally intoxicated by those opposite/same/whatever genders because of our sweet wretched hormones.
What I’m suggesting 100% is that Spock’s “illness” would be caused by Jim’s body reaching puberty, specifically. Now, vulcanoids probably go through puberty differently, and by that I mean it’ll kill them if it gets the chance, but that’s neither here nor there. I imagine Spock’s body being roughly affected by whatever humanoids/aliens he surrounds himself with during this tender period in his life. If he is surrounded by humans I believe it’s possible for his body to be affected by the hormones emitted by his surrounding companions. Their needs could very well cause some kind of reaction to the human half of his maturing hybrid body, what I’m saying. in other words, is that Spock could be placed into a mild Pon-Farr episode because he’s being surrounded by sexually-maturing individuals who cannot contain themselves in the same manner maturing Vulcans absolutely would. I’m blaming Jim in specific, because of his newly budding sexual appetite and the strong hormones that undoubtedly come with it, and his inability to leave his new neat alien pal alone.
So, if Spock’s going into a mild case of Pon-Farr, is it not a concern of his that he would have a mate if he wishes to survive it? Even if Spock himself is unaware that he is undergoing Pon-Farr, his body would not be fooled for a second; It would choose a mate. And who better to choose than Jim with the big bright eyes, calloused hands, the brilliant smile, and the hearty laugh? I mean, I honestly can’t find a reason Spock wouldn’t subconsciously choose Jim, even on an emotional level he will undoubtedly come to serve as a safe-haven for Spock, someone who never judges him, and he is someone who will likely have shown a physical interest in Spock, as well. So with all the green lights ahead, why wouldn’t he choose him?
Answer: There isn’t a reason, Spock would 100% choose Jim as his mate, and the next time Jim takes Spock by the hand and runs through golden fields of farmland with him the bond will undoubtedly form with or without regard to Spock’s own conscious decisions.
So, they get tossed into the throws of Pon-Farr at younger tender ages for both species, and it’s the family’s job to guess what’s going on and what do they do? Well, obviously they go back to the future desperate to save their son, unaware of his saddened mate left behind in the 21st century:
Jim: How could he just leave like that, the house was empty. It was like no one ever lived there.
Bones: Ugh, look kid. I’m your babysitter, not your couple’s counselor.
Jim crying: I’m never gonna see him again and he didn’t even say goodbye!
Bones: Hey, don’t cry! Who says you’ll never see him again? Ain’t like you fon’t got his number or nothin’, just call him.
Jim: You don’t understand, Bones. He’s gone forever.
Bones: Well, of course he’s gone forever if you don’t even try to reach out for him! Look, that family’s been shiftier than a fox outside a chicken’s pen since the moment they got here, but that kid adored you. Ain’t like him to just run off like he did, and it ain’t like you to just sit here crying about it. The way I see it, you can keep up your pity party or you can do something about this.
-6 yrs later-
I get a sick kind of pleasure out of making Bones’ own words be the reason that he and Jim would volunteer years later, for a cryogenic experiment that will ultimately freeze them for about two-hundred years or so.
Anyway, I was just trying to expand upon and fill in some gaps here and there about this au which I’ve affectionately dubbed “Spock of the Future.” I will totally be posting more about it later, but I did not mean to go on for as long as I did.
i like the idea of pale kink being all about taming and soothing and containing dangerous people, but i also like the idea of pale kink being about taking someone apart and building them back up stronger than they were before, making them new and whole.
anyways i really feel like both of these things can be accomplished with rope
Inspired by various tumblr posts.
Humans quickly get a reputation among the interplanetry alliance and the reputation is this: when going somewhere dangerous, take a human.
Humans are tough. Humans can last days without food. Humans heal so fast they pierce holes in themselves or inject ink for fun. Humans will walk for days on broken bones in order to make it to safety. Humans will literally cut off bits of themselves if trapped by a disaster.
You would be amazed what humans will do to survive. Or to ensure the survival of others they feel responsible for.
That’s the other thing. Humans pack-bond, and they spill their pack-bonding instincts everywhere. Sure it’s weird when they talk sympathetically to broken spaceships or try to pet every lifeform that scans as non-toxic. It’s even a little weird that just existing in the same place as them for long enough seems to make them care about you. But if you’re hurt, if you’re trapped, if you need someone to fetch help?
You really want a human.
you know fantasy dragon soulbonding fic i want more of that where the humans are the dragons, like, we’re huge, we’re old, we’re scrappy as hell, and if you are small and cute enough we would be delighted to carry you around on our back
holy shit that’f b amazing.
also imagine an alien being like
‘I THINK A HUMAN IMPRINTED ON ME THEY KEEP HANGING AROUND ME’
But imagine aliens that only form social bonds under very specific circumstances having to deal with humans though:
Like, they will bond with a group, and if they move they just bond with a new group while still talking to their old group. They will bond with other species. They encourage their children to practice bonding with inanimate objects. They can have more than one mate in their lifetime. Sometimes they have more than one mate simultaneously. Once they bond with you they’ll start trying to bring other humans they are bonded with to bond with you.
If you stand around them long enough they’ll probably just wander over and try to pat you, this is how they bond with other species. You may have accidentally bonded with a human without knowing it.
Seriously they will bond with anything.
“Help the human in our party bonded with a grafknap and now they want to bring it with us”
“I don’t see what the problem is.”
“We’ve already got like five of them, and then there’s the orlaps and vanghus.”
“krrrk sor krrkr going thr krrk -bula spike krrk”
“Companion Mar, how do you sustain these high levels of interpersonal relation?”
“Uh… hanging out, I guess.”
“Hanging out of what, exactly?”
“Sorry, that’s a human phrase used to describe spending leisure time in the general proximity of others for entertainment.”
“But we are very far from your past companions, and yet you have continued to express interpersonal relation to them, in spite of the lack of proximity.”
“Oh, well, I comm them now and then.”
“Interesting. So you posit that physical proximity and verbal communication are key to this relational anomaly?”
“I mean that’s part of it.”
“… great Glarbnack, you’re doing it right now, aren’t you?”
“Oh, come on, Kursp, we’ve been friends for ages, you know that!”
“No! Stop! I can’t believe you would – oh, Glarb, what’s the word? – vefriendle me without even asking me first!”
“Befriend. The word is befriend, Kursp.”
“Ugh, humans! Well I know I can’t stop you but at least try not to emote all over the place.”
“Sure thing, buddy.”
OMG THIS ONE IS FANTABULOUS
Ok but what happens when humans are brought aboard an alien spacecraft to travel to the far side of the galaxy, and the ship stops to refuel on Planet Kro’Chenpotyl 6, and there are warnings all over the place to PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THE SPACE STATION and the humans are just like “why?” and the aliens are all “Captain Steve, have you never encountered a Horgler before?” “no, whats a horgler?” “They are very dangerous, Captain. Please do not leave the space station as they roam freely and we do not wish to communicate with your superiors anything about injuries to you or your crew.”
and then two hours later Captain Steve has a giant Horgler in tow and everyone else is just “!!!!!!!!” and Steve is just “yeah, this is my new pet. his name is Fluffy.”
it keeps getting better
“Friend Mark, so this is farewell…”
“Krrsht, will you stop being overdramatic? We’re, like, two miles from the ship, I can carry you easy.”
“What…? How… No, I mean… why would you… I am dying!”
“Dude, you have a broken leg, it’s not exactly a game over.”
“….what? Of course it is! I can’t move…!”
“Come on, get on my back, I’m taking you to the infirmary, they’ll put you in a cast for a month and you’ll be fine as rain!″
“I don’t understand… wait, let go, unhand me!”
“Jesus, I can’t believe that your species colonised deep space with this kind of attitude.”
oh HELL yeah they’d have bouncers, just like any fetish/kink club/dungeon there’s always the possibility of shit getting out of hand. there are bouncers there to make sure everyone’s having a good time and nobody’s getting harrassed.
For flushed clubs it’s probably standard sexual harrassment the way humans think of it. someone gets a little too handsy or too forward and the other troll is floundering a bouncer will step in. Pitch clubs are similar, only the too forward party is usually a little more threatening and probably going after an uneven match half their size.
pale clubs have people that get a little too handsy with people that get their boundaries crossed, and the occasional person that comes in too high strung already and straight up snaps.
ashen clubs have problems with people bringing in their feuding leaf and straight up flipping pitch on them, noisily and messily, much to everyone’s entertainment/weary sighing.
bouncers jobs are considered very much NOT part of the scene, but people commonly mistake it as flipping ashen at pitch and ESPECIALLY at ashen clubs, even when it’s not.
just as literally ANYWHERE in a violent troll society, murder is a very real possibility and happens once in a blue moon. it’s a huge pain for everyone involved. the authorities have to be called, witness provided, it has to be gauged whether it was justified or unjust. The whole facility gets shut down for the night and the workers grumble as they clean bloodstains. everyone gets to sit through the “what to do in case of murder” training video again, and when the club opens the next night the whole place smells vaguely of bleach
replied to your post “Listen, I understand. I understand that the ashen quadrent is the…”
This makes me super curious to hear if you have any cool theories about the ashen quadrant! I always thought it had to have been a very important quadrant that was often overlooked and very curious)
Well, any theories I had are kind of buried under a layer or several of gigapause distraction.
BUT I do have a lot of feels about the ashen quadrent that are kind of crystalizing into something that resembles a theory.
So, first off, trolls are obviously a social species, even if their society’s basic unit of connectedness isn’t the biological family. Any discussion of trolls-as-aliens needs to be approached from the fact that they are aggressive social bugs-things that don’t raise their own young and don’t have a concept of biological relation (i.e. parents, siblings, etc)
(Trolls-as-meta is a different matter, since trolls are an alien species created by a human. But that’s a totally different discussion and one no one EVER brings up in their ‘ashen romance is a social construct’ theories)
So if we don’t have the idea of altruism built in and expressed through the raising of offspring at the base level, how does society at large learn/express/function?
Something that these 6-sweep-old trolls are all conscious of, and often involved in, is romantic entanglements. These romantic relations look kind of weird to humans, especially the concilatory quadrents which aren’t based around sex, which is what humans generally use to tell if a relationship is romantic or not.
It seems weird and kind of extreme to humans to romanticize things that we see as ‘having a best friend’ (it’s not just “having a best friend” but that’s for another post) but trolls have a fundamentally different society and emotional temperament. They begin life by learning to take care of THEIR caretaker. As trolls grow up they learn how to take care of their lusii.
I’m pretty sure this was a thing even in the relatively benign Beforus.
So, you have to take care of your caretaker asap. Which means that your lusus has your back, but you also need to have theirs. There’s really not that feeling of ‘I can trust [x figure] to take care of everything and make it all better’. Which makes that feeling of being able to trust someone with your life, health, happiness Very Important.Now, a human raised like that would probably be half-wild if they survived at all, very unwilling to trust and not really that interested in making social bond. But, the trolls that we see are very interested in making social bonds- friends, even if they don’t really call it that.We see several FLARP campaigns, we see roleplay shenanigans, we see the trolls’ chumprolls with 12 people on them. We also see that the trolls are very very concerned with romance. They’re way more serious about relationships than a human 12 year old would be. When we see Feferi at 6 sweeps she’s already been moirails with Eridan for quite a while. Nepeta and Equius, too. They’re way more serious about that sort of thing than humans are.Now, I’m sure that part of it is because of (how it’d be cool for the story) culture and social norms and whatnot.But, what if it’s because trolls have a tendency to get socialization and ‘family’ through romance? What if they build their family through quadrent-corners?If we assume that, then it makes sense for trolls to have not just reproductive romantic relationships, but also socially and emotionally stabilizing romantic relationships.So! Now down to the IMPORTANT PARTTHE PART ABOUT ASHEN RELATIONSHIPSSo, even if we don’t buy the above analysis about trolls, troll society, and troll romance, if we just look at canon:Ashen romance is still super romantic.Trolls are pretty aggressive a lot of the time. They get in each other’s faces and they can be huge dicks to each other. While they find that sexy appreantly, there ARE times when it’s really not smart to hit that. Having someone to keep you on track is a pretty intimate form of caring. Someone who will basically hold your hand though social interaction and help smooth over issues with other people. Especially if it’s someone who you generally want to keep around, but it’s a bad idea to leave you around with that person. And like, being able to help your friends in a really close way- that’s also a very intimate thing to do. To be able to make sure they’re both ok, and that you all can stay working together, growing together.You all have each other’s BACKS.And if you DO buy the above analysis, then it’s even better. You have two people who value you, who stick with you. Two more people who want you to stay alive and think you’re good enough to stay in close contact with. Ugh. I kind of ran out of steam at the end, but I hope you get the idea.
*writes four thousand roughline words of “BUT WHAT IF IN PREREFORMATION AND ALSO THEREFORE THESE UNCERTAIN AOS TIMES PON FARR COULD BE INDUCED AND FORESTALLED VIA BACHELOR-BAND IMPERATIVE, WHEREIN GROUPS OF VULCAN BROS WOULD ROVE TOGETHER AND ONLY ONE WOULD EVER GO INTO HEAT AT A TIME, WHEN ALL OF HIS BUDDIES WERE SUFFICIENTLY AMPED UP TO BE HIS WINGMEN AND INCREASE HIS CHANCES OF SUCCESSFULLY HOPPING THE FENCE INTO A NEW CLAN, AND WHAT IF ON AN AWAY MISSION OF SUFFICIENT INCONVENIENCE AND DURATION SPOCK MISTOOK HIS ROUGH-AND-TUMBLE HUMAN BUDDIES FOR HIS BAND” instead of doing work*